What To Do When Your Family/Loved One Triggers Your Anxiety

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What To Do When Your Family/Loved One Triggers Your Anxiety: Show Notes

Relationships can be a significant anxiety trigger.  Your anxiety could be triggered by the fear of conflict, feeling pressure or expectations from your loved ones or family members, or possibly from a fear of disappointing them…

These are just a few examples as to why you might feel anxious around your family or loved ones.

The thing is… the opinions of the people that are closest to you matter.  As a result, when your loved ones have strong opinions or there are negative consequences when you don’t agree with them, it can cause a lot of emotional discomfort for you.

Today we’re going to talk about all of this and more to help you understand- how do you calmly cope when your family or loved ones trigger your anxiety?

Takeaways you will have from this episode:

  • The causes of anxiety that is triggered by family members and loved ones
  • The top 4 ways to cope with anxiety or overthinking that is triggered by family and loved ones
  • How to effectively speak up for yourself to prevent anxiety from building up
  • AND an Action plan with concrete takeaways to help you put these tips into action

Calmly Coping is a self-improvement podcast for overthinkers who struggle with anxiety. Unlike other podcasts in the anxiety space, Calmly Coping is not about fixing you, it’s about uncovering the amazing person that is already there (and that you are just too afraid to let out).

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  • How to create the optimal environment for productivity
  • How to create a routine to maximize your productivity & focus
  • My secret to motivating yourself when you just can’t focus

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Intro/outro music:

Rescue Me (Instrumental) by Aussens@iter (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/tobias_weber/57990 Ft: Copperhead

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What If Your Family Triggers Your Anxiety Or Overthinking?
What to do when your family triggers your anxiety

Be Calm,



  • Hi, i’m a middle aged middle brother who since my father died I have been getting tremendous anxiety around my brothers especially my younger brother. I feel like i’m being judged and i haven’t felt like this since childhood. It came back with a veangeance. I had social anxiety until around 15 when It just when away only to resurface to the point where I don’t even want to go out. How do i tell my brother who i love we cant go anywhere together because you give me severe anxiety.

    • I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this, James! Do you feel comfortable being open with your brother and sharing what you just did in this comment? If possible, I think being open about it can be helpful, especially if he is receptive to hearing you out. If you’re able to I think getting the support of a therapist in your area might also be helpful to help you work through the social anxiety.

  • I always get triggered with my husband’s sister…everything has to be on her terms. I have tried for many years to get on with her but I’m finding it hard In how to deal with my feelings. It was my oldest sons 21st birthday the other day, and he’s at Uni so couldn’t see him… what triggered me is that my husband’s sister didn’t send him a card or wish him a happy birthday… she’s his aunty and godparent but doesn’t even think to send him a card…. when we have given her children cards and money….don’t know how to handle my feelings…

    • That sounds like a challenging situation, Kath! It can be so common to take the actions of others as personal and interpret them as being disrespectful, inconsiderate, etc… And although that can sometimes be the case, it’s not always and I think, although challenging, it can help to think of other reasons for a person’s behavior (they forgot, are stressed, don’t have the same values as you, etc.). Although that may not justify or excuse the behavior, it can help to look at things from a different perspective which can sometimes help with the feelings that can come up!

  • I am the youngest member of my family. I have sisters and they are all good except for the last one. When we were young, our relationship was difficult. After that, when I grew up, the situation became normal, or this is what I thought a few months ago I realized that she was emotionally hurting me and still is so I wrote her a letter about Our toxic relationship and everything. She put the message in her closet after a few days she saw the message. And what was her reaction?! She never said anything and didn’t even talk to me (at the time I wrote the letter there was a problem between me and her and this problem made me realize that she is toxic (I felt this almost 7 years ago, but not with the same intensity, even if I noticed that my second sister was wearing the same thing) . back in that day… I went to talk to her and saw her talking in a sharp tone And she was angry. I asked her if there was anything. She replied with condescension and anger and refused to tell me this thing. It made me think for 15 minutes what I had done and made her angry, and this made me angry. I felt guilty for 15 minutes over something. I do not know what I cried and cried for.And I cried, then she went and spoke firmly and angry. She said something hurtful, so I responded with more hurtful things. She was very angry. ) Back to our point, she never spoke after she saw the message and heard from one of my sisters that the reason that made her mute is that she thinks that it is better to stay away from the people she hurt. She is really selfish and cowardly. We haven’t spoken for 3 months. the problem My main problem here is not that we live in the same house, and when she is in the house, I feel very uncomfortable and anxious, and when she goes out, I feel wonderful, as if I love my life. I hate my life when it exists I spent my life feeling this way. I’m imagining all the good moments of my life and saying: What if she’s not here, what if she’s dead. And I feel a different feeling than normal people who live a life that I have not lived. I feel that I can’t take it any longer and feel if it didn’t exist my life and all the good moments would be better and naturally.

    We live in the same house and I can’t get out of it
    I am 17 years old and the environment in which I live and my circumstances do not allow me to go to a psychotherapist, but I hope to go to one I feel like my whole life revolves around on her

  • Hi, my younger brother just revealed to me that he is not able to hear when me or my parents are sad or hurt. That there are a lot of people that come to him with their problems and it’s all on his shoulders. He cried and i had no idea he felt this way or how devastating it was for him. He said he can’t handle even hearing about people’s sad stuff, negative complaints or gossiping. He is a really great person and people trust him and respect his advice. How can I beat support him.

  • Hello, I’m on holiday for the first time as an adult with my dad and my sister and I’m not coping very well. Im feeling very anxious and have had tension headache all day. My dad is very dismissive about anyone’s feelings. He laughs at me when I say I’m struggling with something, says I’m very sensitive or just tells me a jokey story from his past. I’m expected to listen to his wild anecdotes yet he talks over me when I try and speak up or share something personal.. He’s super loud and rude in front of other people but just laughs if I look embarrassed. It’s the first day here and I already want to come home. Doubt I’ll sleep well tonight – hoping this message will relieve some of the tension in me!


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Hey, I'm Tati!

I believe that everybody deserves to live a calm, fulfilling life. My hope is to inspire high achievers to stop fear from running their lives and start putting their needs first.

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