How to Set Boundaries With Work (Without Feeling Guilty)

Do you ever feel like work is creeping into every part of your life? Your boss emails you on weekends, clients expect instant replies. Or even if you’re your own boss, you find yourself working at all hours. Setting boundaries at work can feel impossible, and if you do set them, then guilt kicks in. But here’s the truth:

You can set boundaries and still be seen as a dedicated and capable. And in today’s episode, I’m going to show you how, whether you work for someone else or you run your own business. Welcome to Calmly Coping, the podcast for high achievers who want to feel calm, balanced, and confident from within. I’m Tati a therapist and coach, and I’m here to help you stop overthinking, stop overworking and crush self-doubt.

Every other week, I share actionable tips and strategies you can implement right away to create more balance and ease in your life. Thanks so much for tuning in. Let’s get started. I received a comment recently, and this is a topic that is often brought up from listeners, students, and clients. This comment said, how do you recommend telling your boss that you need boundaries when it comes to work and personal time?

I find that oftentimes my bosses will reach out to me about work on the weekends, and I believe that is a contributing factor to my burnout. I feel like I can never disconnect fully. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way, and I think many times, especially nowadays, our work culture is so intertwined with our personal lives because of technology and higher expectations that it can feel difficult to set boundaries.

Here’s some reasons why it might feel hard. Because we’ve been conditioned to believe that constantly being available means being a great employee or a successful business owner. And so if you’re not constantly available, it can feel like you’re dropping the ball, but that belief is ultimately leading to burnout, resentment, and never really feeling like you are off.

Here’s the thing, boundaries. Don’t mean you’re lazy or uncommitted, they mean that you’re working sustainably, taking care of yourself so you can be more present for the things that you love and for your work, and certain areas are catching on. So California proposed the right to disconnect law, and this would protect employees from being expected to answer after hours emails.

Now, unfortunately this did not pass, but the fact that it was introduced. In the first place highlighted that there is a need for improved work-life balance, and the UK did four day workweek trials and the results were that 71% of employees reported reduced burnout and 39% experienced less stress demonstrating the benefits of structured.

Boundaries Now whether or not you can actually do a four day work week, the evidence shows that having more disconnect from work actually helps to prevent burnout while increasing productivity at the same time. So the moral of the story is you are not the problem. Hustle culture is, but you can take back control.

So first, let’s talk about how to set boundaries as an employee. The first step is to figure out where it is that you need a boundary. So is it your boss emailing you at 9:00 PM or on the weekends like this, listener commented, maybe you’re being expected to stay late, get clear on what it is that’s draining you.

Then step two is to communicate your boundary without the guilt or awkwardness you might feel because you are doing this because it’s important to you and it’s a need that you have, it’s going to help you to perform better at work. So maybe you might say something like, I’ve realized that responding to work messages outside of my set hours is making it harder for me to fully recharge moving forward.

I’ll be available during work hours and we’ll address non-urgent messages first thing in the morning. It’s all about communicating it in a way that is clear, expresses your need and why that’s important, and also potentially expresses the benefit to the employer. This will allow me to recharge so that I can be more focused.

And work more deeply or work more efficiently. When I am at work, it’s not necessary to mention the benefit to the employer, but this can always be something that is a plus because people love to hear how what you are expressing or what change you wanna make could potentially benefit them. And step three is to stick to the boundary even if your boss ignores it.

So if they keep pushing gently remind them. If you get emails out of work hours, don’t respond to them until you, you get back to work. Of course. And if your workplace is truly toxic, then it might be time to think about long-term career moves, if this is something that is truly not being respected. So here’s the thing, unless you have a job that explicitly requires it or you’re on call, you don’t have to be available 24 7 to be valuable.

Clear communication is how you get. Respect. And if people choose not to respect it, then that’s on them, and it’s your decision whether you want to continue to allow that behavior. So next, let’s talk about how to set boundaries when you’re self-employed. So you are the boss, but are you being a good boss to yourself or are you kind of a jerk?

So. There might be signs that you need better boundaries when you’re self-employed. Maybe you feel guilty when you’re not working. You check emails on your quote unquote day off, or you’ve convinced yourself that working more equals making more money when really burnout leads to worse results in the long run.

So here’s how to fix it. Set specific working hours and actually stick to them. Use things like autoresponders or scheduled messages to train clients or customers or whomever you’re working with on your availability and give yourself permission to rest because burnout won’t make you more successful.

Sometimes it can. Be about just giving yourself the permission. Because a lot of times there can be those conflicting voices or the inner critic that comes up and says things like, you need to work harder, or You’re not doing enough, or You’re not making enough money, but we need to rest in order to, especially when you’re self-employed, to have the bigger picture thinking that allows you to grow your business.

If you’re constantly working in the business and burning yourself out, then you’re ultimately never going to have this. Space and creativity to see what’s not working. To improve upon things that could be better, to create the longer term systems and delegation plans so that you can scale or grow. And when we are in a place of burnout that can actually keep us stuck.

And also help to reinforce the idea that we constantly need to be busy just through your behavior and because you’re functioning in survival mode. So you may have started your business to have more freedom. I know, that’s why I did. And I know that’s why many self-employed people do, but that freedom comes from boundaries and not from working 24 7.

And now, regardless of whether you’re employed or self-employed, having a life outside of work is important and makes having boundaries. Easier. So if work is your entire world and that is how you derive your worth and get your fun and fulfillment, then setting boundaries often feels like you’re losing something.

That’s why it’s so important to build things like relationships outside of work. Spend time with family plan friend dates or call someone just because maybe engaging in hobbies. Whether it’s reading, painting, playing an instrument, taking a class, whatever it is that lights you up and that you enjoy, and things like just rest and fun.

So watching a dumb TV show you enjoy going for a walk with no agenda or doing nothing, those things are so important to help you to recharge and to actually have reasons to stop working. Rather than just feeling like, well, I need to rest, but sometimes when we don’t have a plan for how we’re gonna use that time, it’s easy to continue to ignore your boundaries.

So when you have a fulfilling life outside of work, it’s easier to protect your personal time because you’re protecting something that actually matters to you. So now let’s talk about how to stick to those boundaries that you’ve set even when it’s hard because when you’re starting to set boundaries, especially if you have never set them before, people might push back.

And that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means that they are used to you behaving in a certain way and now you’re making a change that is potentially having a negative effect on them. That might also result in guilt creeping in for you, making you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

You can acknowledge that guilt. But don’t allow it to make your decisions. You’re setting these boundaries for a reason, and regardless of how people respond, these are important things for you. And the more consistently you hold your boundaries, the more people will adjust over time. And it’s about sticking to these boundaries, not just through what you’re communicating, but also through your.

Actions not responding to emails on the weekend. If you’ve decided that you’re not going to do that and waiting until Monday morning, even though that pull might be there, that guilt might be there, the anxiety or the urgency might be there. Stick to that boundary because we teach people what our boundaries are by following through with them, not just by stating them.

So now let’s put things into action. I want you to choose one boundary to set this week. So maybe it’s no work emails after 7:00 PM Maybe it’s actually taking a real lunch break for once away from your desk. Or maybe it’s setting clear expectations with clients. I. Whatever it is that works best for you.

Identify this boundary. Identify how you’re going to communicate it and put it into action, and then commit to it without apologizing. Because boundaries are important for you to respect your time, energy, and mental health, and nobody else can determine that for you except for you. So if you want more in-depth help with setting boundaries, stopping, overthinking, and feeling more confident, then you can check out my free training, achieve a calm mind, balanced life, and empowered confidence in 90 days.

If you wanna stop feeling overwhelmed and start creating work-life balance that actually works. This training is for you. You can check it out by going to calmlycoping.com/workshop or clicking on the link in the description. And if you found this episode helpful, then please share it with a friend or a colleague who needs to hear it.

So some final thoughts. Work doesn’t have to take over your entire life, but if you don’t set boundaries, then it will. You deserve a life that feels balanced, fulfilling, and yours. And that starts with protecting your time. And remember, the people who respect you the most will respect your boundaries.

While you wait for the next episode, I have other episodes on calming your Mind, improving work-life balance, and feeling more confident from within. Thank you so much for tuning in today, and until next time, be calm. Thanks so much for listening. If you like what you heard, please share this episode with a friend and please subscribe and leave me a review on iTunes.

Also remember to check me out online calmlycoping.com and connect with me on Instagram at Tatianaglpc. All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.

Till next time, I’m Tati, and this has been calmly coping.