Smartphone Anxiety Is Real — Here’s What Helped Me

Smartphones are now ubiquitous and although they offer many benefits, they can also become a source of anxiety. Worrying about responding to notifications, the feeling of being constantly available and coming across potentially triggering content on social media are just a few causes. In this episode, I’m sharing the exact ways that I set up and use my phone to feel calmer, more focused, and less reactive.

You’ll learn simple changes to reduce mindless checking, set clear boundaries, and use your phone in a way that actually supports your mental health.

Welcome to Calmly Coping. I’m Tati Garcia, a licensed therapist and coach here to help high achievers stop overthinking and finally feel calm and confident. If that’s what you need, then hit subscribe. Let’s dive into the episode. You know that feeling when you reach for your phone without even thinking, the automatic scroll, the quick check for notifications, and suddenly it’s 20 minutes later or maybe even hours later, and you’re feeling more scattered than when you started.

I used to check my phone constantly. Even when I didn’t need to, I felt this low key pressure to respond to messages right away, to stay on top of every notification. And when I wasn’t near my phone, I’d feel anxious, like I might miss something important. And it wasn’t just a habit anymore, it started to become a source of stress and anxiety.

Even in moments that were supposed to be relaxing, like winding down at night or spending time with loved ones, I found myself reaching for my phone every five minutes. It was really affecting my focus, my mood, and my overall mental health. And I know this is especially common for high achievers. When you’re driven and used to being productive, your phone can feel like a necessary tool to stay ahead.

To not miss an opportunity, a deadline or a client message, but that always on mentality can lead to serious burnout, difficulty focusing, and a constant feeling of being behind even when you’re technically off over time. I have read tons of books on how to improve your relationship with your phone, just to name a few.

I’ve read Digital Minimalism. I’ve read how to break up with your phone. I’ve read books on the effects that phones and technology have on our mental health and so much more. And throughout this period of time of doing all of this research, I have made a lot of small changes and honestly, I’ve gone through many versions of how I structure my phone.

But right now, I have to say I’m in the most balanced place that I’ve been when it comes to my phone usage. My daily screen time is down to just one to two hours a day, and I feel calmer, more focused, and more present in my life and my relationships. And you might think there’s no way that’s possible. In this episode, I’m walking you through exactly how I’ve set up and how I use my phone now with intention so that it supports my mental health instead of working against it.

Let’s get into the actual changes I’ve made to how I use my phone and why they’ve helped so much. I. Number one is no social media on my phone ever. This one might sound extreme to some people, but it’s been one of the most freeing boundaries that I’ve set. I still have business accounts, but I don’t use the apps, and instead, I delegate post scheduling to my va, my virtual assistant, and if I need to check messages, I do it in a browser.

A newsfeed Eradicator plugin. This is essentially a plugin that you can get for any browser you use. I know they specifically have it for Firefox or Chrome, maybe others, I’m not sure. But what it does is basically you can choose the social media sites where you don’t want to see a, a newsfeed or anything that is basically populated by an algorithm.

So that can include Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. LinkedIn, et cetera, and I have this on for those websites so that when I am logging into them, I’m not getting sucked into things that I’m not choosing to look at, but I’m just going in for the purpose of checking my Facebook group, checking my messages, and not wasting a lot of time doing ential tasks.

It’s really helped with focus and to prevent going down the rabbit hole of looking at random posts. And memes and anything else that might come up. And ultimately, I don’t get tempted to scroll because it’s not even an option. And for me personally, it has been such a relief to remove that constant source of comparison, distraction, and background noise.

I don’t miss it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out, and it’s something that has personally benefited my mental health rather than harming it. I focus on having conversations with my friends through texts and through phone calls rather than communicating via social media. And it’s something that for me personally, I found that social media, especially with my business, was a, was a big source of negatively comparing myself, feeling like I needed to be doing more.

And so I cut this out, and now it has helped me to focus in my lane, listen to myself, and do what is best for myself and for what my goals are. Number two is I use the app screen Zen. To add a pause before opening certain apps. So I’ve tried everything. Setting the default app limits within Apple, deleting certain apps entirely.

But what has worked best for the apps that I do need to use sometimes is adding intentional friction. So this is basically giving myself a pause. And questioning do I really need to use this app? I use an app called Screen Zen that delays my access to certain apps like my calendar or my to-do list. So for example, those apps now have a five second countdown before they open, and I’ve limited myself to 15 minutes per day with a maximum of five opens.

That might sound small. And it might sound complicated. It’s not, it’s easy to set up, but it’s really been a huge change for me because I used to personally obsessively check my calendar and my task list, not just during work hours, but while watching TV or right before bed because I would start to feel anxious about what’s coming up or making sure that I have my schedule right and now I’m still able to use those tools when I need them, but I’m not.

Trapped in constant hyper productivity and constantly needing to get a sense of certainty, which when it comes to anxiety, our brains are seeking out certainty, and so that can lead to obsessive behaviors, like constantly checking certain apps or certain tools that we might be using when we give our brain even just a few seconds to pause before.

Automatically making a choice, like, do I wanna check my calendar again? Then that can actually get us to think and make a conscious choice, rather than just getting sucked into the pattern of being on autopilot. So next is that I blocked my browser and Gmail completely on my phone. This was a very recent change that I made and might seem extreme to some people.

And this was hard for me at first, but so worth it. So about two months ago, I blocked the browser and email on my phone. No more rabbit holes of Googling. Oh, how old is this actor in this show that I’m watching? Or what else have they been in? Or randomly checking email messages while standing in line at the grocery store.

And I should also mention that I have never had work email on my phone, only personal email, and I can only check my work email at my computer. And that is something else that I do intentionally. Because, especially since I work from home, but I think this can apply to anybody. I am only checking my email when I am intentionally working.

So now if I actually do want to look something up, I jot it down on my to-do list or a sticky note to check later on my computer. This simple shift has created so much more mental clarity. I’m no longer constantly chasing information, and I’m okay with not knowing everything immediately. Again, this might seem foreign in our day of having constant access to information.

However, this has been really impactful for me because it allows me to sit with uncertainty, and I talked about wanting a sense of certainty when it comes to anxiety. And so even though our brains will seek out certainty and. Look up more information or confirm things or get reassurance that seeking out certainty can actually reinforce and worsen anxiety.

It can seem counterintuitive, but actually the more information we have, the more anxious we can feel because we don’t learn to tolerate uncertainty and we teach ourselves that uncertainty is something that’s to be avoided. Actually when we can feel comfortable with not knowing everything, because ultimately that’s a fact of life, there is uncertainty.

We’re never gonna know everything. We’re not going to be able to predict the future or know what’s gonna happen next. So when you can teach yourself, your mind and your body that it’s okay to be uncertain, it’s okay to not have all the answers, then you are going to maybe initially feel a little bit of discomfort or maybe a lot.

You’re gonna feel more anxiety initially, but in the long run, you’re going to actually feel even calmer and even have more clarity because you are teaching yourself that it’s okay to not know everything. I. I feel like I’ve said this a bunch, but like just recognizing that you don’t need to know everything at once.

Next is no non-essential notifications, so the only notifications that I allow are texts and phone calls, and even then, so I may have certain notifications that will just come up, but they are silent. So maybe anything that is accountability based, like a workout or a meditation. They may pop up, but there is no sound associated with them.

So I don’t need to be distracted from what I’m doing. I will just see them the next time I reach for my phone. And this is really helpful ’cause it’s not constantly taking me out of focus and it’s not distracting me or creating that spike of anxiety of like, oh, what’s going on now? Or even the spike of dopamine, of anticipating something exciting, but it’s just.

Keeping me in this state of being present with what I’m doing, and then when I’m choosing to look at my phone, that’s when I can review anything that might have come up. My next change is putting my phone in a drawer during deep work or during my client sessions, so whenever I am in a client session or deep focus time doing work.

Even if it’s just administrative tasks, my phone goes on, do not disturb, and straight into a drawer. So this is out of sight and out of mind. This helps me be fully present and protects my mental bandwidth. Studies have shown that just having your phone present, even if it is on silent, even if you’re not using it, can actually fracture art.

Attention and make it harder to focus. Now, if you’re somebody who, let’s say you’re like, well, what if I need to be reached in emergency? You can make exceptions for favorites or for if somebody rings twice in a row, that that will bypass the do not disturb. But ultimately this is just making it so that you’re not getting.

Non-emergency notifications coming through. And the next change that I’ve made is no phone by my bed. So this one might be, again, a small change, but it’s made a huge difference. I don’t keep my phone next to my bed at all at night. It charges on a table across the room in the bedroom, and that means. If I would have to get it, I would have to get up and out of bed.

So it means no scrolling before sleep, no checking notifications the moment I wake up and no using my phone as an emotional crutch during the night if I wake up feeling anxious or stressed. What it really does is it creates a boundary between getting distracted with notifications and looking up information or social media, which I don’t have my phone, but somebody else might and rest, and it communicates that.

Okay. This is my time for winding down and honestly, my sleep and my mornings feel so much calmer and more grounded because of it. I do have a physical alarm clock that I bought a while ago when I decided to make this change. So I don’t need to rely on my phone for an alarm or to wake up in the morning.

And if, let’s say, I do have thoughts that come up. Before I go to bed or in the middle of the night, I keep a stack of sticky notes next to my bed and a pen, and I’ll just write things down there so that then I can address them in the morning when I need to maybe add them to my to-do list or do them in the morning.

So I’ll be honest, these changes did not happen overnight. It has been a journey, and for some people they might seem a little intense, but for me they were absolutely necessary to. Re reset my brain to reduce that constant dopamine seeking behavior and to create more space for calm, focus, and intentional living.

I’ve noticed a lot of benefits in my mental health as a result of making these changes. So if you’re listening to this and feeling like, okay, my phone is definitely running the show, then you’re not alone and you don’t need to overhaul everything all at once. You don’t need to make the changes that I’ve made even.

It’s about making the changes that work for you and identifying how your phone benefits you and how it might be harmful. So I invite you to pause and reflect for a moment. You can write down these questions to journal on later, or just take some moments and pause after each question to think through them.

So first, how do you feel after spending time on your phone? When are you most likely to reach for it? And what are you hoping it will give you? Maybe it’s a feeling, maybe it is something else. And is your phone supporting your goals? I. We’re pulling you away from them. Another way to think about this is it’s supporting your values.

Sometimes even becoming aware of these patterns is the first step to changing them. So here’s your challenge for this episode. Pick just one thing to change about your phone today. Maybe you turn off or silence one notification. Move one app off of your home screen to make it a little harder to get to.

Or try charging your phone outside of your bedroom tonight then. Reflect on how it made you feel, and if you’re open to it, I’d love if you shared it with me. You can DM me on Instagram. I do check the messages even though I don’t have them on my phone at Tatiana GLP C. Or you can send me a message by clicking the contact.

Link in the description, small shifts can make a big difference, and they create space for something more intentional to take its place. If you found this episode helpful, then consider sending this to someone who’s struggling with phone related stress. Maybe you notice that they’re even addicted to their phone, or they wanna make a change or leave a review.

If this podcast has been helpful for you, it really helps me out. You can leave a review wherever you’re listening, whether that is Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Leaving a comment on YouTube or anywhere else. Just as a reminder, your phone does not have to be a source of constant pressure and anxiety. With a few intentional changes.

It can become a tool for clarity, calm, and connection on your terms. While you wait for next week’s episode, I have other episodes about calming your mind, improving work life balance, and feeling more confident from within. So be sure to check out these episodes here. Thank you so much for tuning in today, and until next time, be calm.