When Overthinking Stops You Before You Even Start

If overthinking has ever gotten you to talk yourself out of doing something before you’ve even started, you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m sharing why our minds spiral into decision paralysis, how perfectionism and anxiety can sabotage our progress and therapist to prove strategies to help you shift from spiraling thoughts to intentional action.

Welcome to Calmly Coping. I’m Tati Garcia, a licensed therapist and coach here to help high achievers stop overthinking and finally feel calm and confident. If that’s what you need, then hit subscribe. Let’s dive into the episode. Maybe you have a goal to make a career change or. Finally start that new workout routine or commit to eating healthier.

But the second you start thinking it through, your mind kicks into overdrive. Suddenly you are swimming in what ifs. What if I fail? What if this isn’t the right time? What if I regret it? Then come the excuses, the worst case scenarios and the endless planning. You start doing all the research, making all the lists, trying to do everything perfectly, but instead of feeling prepared, you feel paralyzed.

It’s like the more you think about it, the heavier and harder it all feels. Even if you do take a step forward, you’re met with fear. What if it doesn’t work? What if you mess it up? If that sounds familiar, then you’re not alone. Today we’re gonna talk about what happens when overthinking stops you before you even start, and how to break free from that cycle so you can move forward with more ease and intention.

When I work with clients and students, overthinking often shows up alongside some very familiar patterns. Perfectionism, anxiety, fear of failure, fear of making the wrong choice, and just generally high expectations, especially for yourself. And oftentimes these things don’t show up just one at a time, but they overlap and build on each other.

What I see at the root of this is your mind and your body trying to keep you safe. The protective instinct that kicks in every time there’s uncertainty or a sense of risk. And even if the goal you’re thinking about is something positive, like making a lifestyle change or taking a step forward in your career, your brain can still perceive that change as a threat if it feels unfamiliar or unpredictable.

With perfectionism, this protection can sound like I need to make the right decision. I have to do this perfectly. You might fear being judged, fear letting others down, or fear not meeting your own expectations. So you overplan over research and try to gather all the information that you can before you act.

But how do you even begin when it feels like everything has to be perfect and you need all of the information before getting started? With anxiety, the spiral often turns into worst case scenario thinking. What if I never find a better job? What if this change makes everything worse? It’s the kind of thinking that can stop you before you’ve even taken the first step.

And with the fear of failure, which often goes hand in hand with both perfectionism and anxiety, especially high functioning anxiety, there’s this overwhelming urge to avoid mistakes at all costs. But in trying to avoid risks, you also avoid taking action, and that’s what leads to that paralysis. And finding yourself stuck in that loop, knowing that this response is human and protective.

It still doesn’t change things. It can help to know that there are ways to shift out of it and to move forward with more clarity and confidence, and that’s what we’re gonna get into next. So what do you do when you’re stuck in that spiral of overthinking and it’s stopping you before you even start?

Here are some tools that I often share with my clients and that I’ve used personally when my own mind starts spinning and coming up with. All the excuses. Number one is to shift your mental lens. When you notice yourself fixating on what could go wrong, ask yourself, what if this actually goes well? What if things turn out better than I expected?

We’re often. Fixating on the negative and ignoring the positive possibilities that could happen. And if jumping all the way to the positive feels like too far of a leap, try to even shift to neutral instead of, this is going to be a disaster, try. This might be okay and I can handle it either way. For example, if you’re debating starting a new job search, instead of spiraling into, what if I leave my current job and I regret it?

Try shifting to what if I find something that better fits where I am now? This helps open the door to possibilities instead of just focusing on risks. Strategy two is to zoom out and name the pattern. When you notice overthinking showing up, take a step back and notice it from a distance. This is your brain doing that thing of protecting you.

But when it’s trying to predict every outcome and control all the uncertainty, which is what happens with anxiety, it usually just creates even more stress and anxiety. Sometimes I encourage clients to label that voice, give it a name. If it helps, there goes Beatrice again. Often her overthinking worries.

Sorry if your name’s Beatrice. Do what feels right for you. So when you can see it as a pattern and not the truth, not seeing your thoughts as facts, you can create space and from there you can choose to shift your focus to something different. So it’s about creating perspective to recognize that. This overthinking spiral is just a thing, a pattern that is happening.

Rather than getting caught up in the tornado or whirlwind of the thoughts, you can step back and see it from a distance. Strategy three is to simplify and take action. One of the biggest traps of overthinking is overcomplicating everything, perfectionism and high functioning anxiety. Make it so that you feel this need to gather.

All the data, follow all the steps, and have the perfect plan before moving forward. A personal example is that I recently restarted strength training after having taken a break for a while, and my mind wanted to go all in, watch all the YouTube videos, listen to the podcasts, read the books, figure out the optimal strategy.

There were so many tips and rabbit holes that I could have gone down, but instead I focused on keeping it simple. I took in just the information that helped me, and I gave myself permission to just start, even if it was messy, even if I didn’t have an a hundred percent clear plan. Because the truth is that nothing will ever be perfect, and the confidence that you’re wanting to feel from the steps that you’re taking actually comes.

After you take action, not before, most of us never feel fully ready, especially when you’re doing something that is hard or uncomfortable or out of your comfort zone. So ask yourself, what’s the smallest, simplest step that you can take today? And then let that be enough and know that you can always make changes along the way.

So your action step is I want to invite you to pause. And reflect. You can grab a journal or you can make a note to come back to this prompt later, or you can just think through it and pause this episode once you’ve heard the question. So what’s one thing you’ve been overthinking lately? Maybe a goal, a change, or even a small decision.

And what’s one small step? Even if it just takes five minutes that you could take today to move forward toward that goal, you don’t need to have the full plan and know all the things. You just need to start. If today’s episode resonated with you and you’re looking for more support with overthinking and taking action, have a free guide that can help.

It’s called Stop Overthinking and Start Relaxing, and it walks you through step-by-step guidance and journal prompts to help you quiet your mind and feel more at ease. You can download it for free at calmlycoping.com/overthinking. Remember that clarity comes from doing not just thinking. You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You just have to take one small step, and that’s more than enough. While you wait for next week’s episode, I have other episodes about calming your mind, improving work-life balance, and feeling more confident from within. So be sure to check out these episodes here. Thank you so much for tuning in today, and until next time, be calm.