How to Prioritize Your Nervous System as a High Achiever

Tati: If you’ve ever found yourself rushing into a new week, new month, or new year, focused on goals, productivity, and doing everything right. This episode is for you because the truth is how you feel as you move through your life matters just as much as what you achieve. And if you’re constantly running on stress and in survival mode, it’s going to catch up with you mentally, emotionally, and physically and more.
In this episode, I’m sharing why your nervous system is the real foundation for feeling calm, balanced, and confident. And I’ll walk you through three practical ways you can start regulating it even if your life is busy or your environment feels out of control.
Welcome to Calmly Coping. I’m Tati Garcia, a licensed therapist and coach here to help high achievers stop overthinking and finally feel calm, balanced, and confident. If that’s what you need, then hit subscribe. Let’s dive into the episode. So instead of pushing into the year, month, or your day with goals and pressure, what if you started by tending to your nervous system?
Your nervous system is like your body’s command center. It’s constantly scanning your environment and deciding, are we safe or are we in danger? When it’s regulated, it’s like a calm ocean. You can think clearly. Breathe fully and respond with ease. But when it’s dysregulated, it’s like a storm. Your thoughts are racing.
Your body is tense, and it’s hard to feel grounded and think clearly. That’s why learning to regulate it is so powerful. It gives you access to clarity, calm and choice, even in moments of stress. This is the foundation to feeling calm, balanced, and confident. Something I speak about often on this podcast and the real shift is in changing the way you approach things rather than what you are doing.
So I’ve quoted this scene from the movie Across the Universe in the past, but it’s just because I feel like it. Illustrates my point so beautifully, and by the way, this is a great movie. I recommend it, especially if you’re a Beatles fan. This one scene starts with a family and their new friend from across the pond, Jude, sitting down for a Thanksgiving dinner.
The family is questioning their son Max, about the fact that he’s dropped out of college, and they’re asking him, what are you going to do with your life?
Across the Universe: What do you actually intend to do with your life? Why is it always about What will you do? What will you do? What will he do? Oh my God, what will he do, do, do, do, do, do.
Why isn’t the issue here? Who I am? Because Maxwell, what you do defines who you are. No, uncle Teddy, who you are defines what you do, right? You.
Uh, uh, surely it’s uh, not what you do, but it’s the way that you, that you do it.
Tati: And as high achievers, the focus can so often be. Primarily on what we do, the degrees, the achievements, the income, meeting those deadlines, checking off those never ending to-do lists, having a busy schedule, an impeccable home, et cetera, et cetera.
But if you are getting these things done from functioning in a state of constant nervous system, arousal, otherwise known as the fight or flight response. Sure you’re getting them done, but you probably feel miserable doing them, and you might even feel on edge compelled to do them feeling anxious, feeling stressed, or irritable.
It can also make it feel like everything is urgent or an emergency. Even when it isn’t, you might worry about everything that could go wrong and then overthink and overanalyze things, or experience physical symptoms such as muscle tension, digestive issues, fatigue or headaches, just to name a few. And this can also result in reaching a state of burnout, which is physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion from ignoring your needs to rest, to pause, to do less and recover.
These are all symptoms of being in a state of survival mode and having a nervous system that is in a constant state of stress. Thus being dysregulated. When your nervous system is more regulated, then you’re more easily able to go into those states of fight or flight when you need to. When there is an actual danger, when there is a moment where your body needs to protect yourself or.
Run away from danger or get to safety and recover into states where you feel a sense of safety and calm and being able to think clearly. So what can you change to get from this state of survival mode and constant nervous system dysregulation? To a more regulated nervous system. So let’s get into three ways that you can focus on regulating your nervous system.
Number one is to start with your body, not your to-do list. Our body gives us clues to how our nervous system is feeling. Your shoulders constantly up to your ears. Is your heart pounding in your chest? Are your thoughts running rampant and causing a sense of brain fog, feeling scattered or overwhelmed?
These can be signals that your nervous system is dysregulated. Your body is a great way through and to address this. So a simple way is through a morning routine, even if it’s only 5, 10, 15 minutes, because this is the moment that sets the tone for your day. When you can calm your nervous system first, before you get into the busyness of the day, then this can help you to start from a place of regulation.
Some examples include exercise, going on a walk, doing yoga, or anything you enjoy. But keep in mind to not do anything that is too taxing on your body. So this is maybe trying to push yourself too hard, too fast when it comes to overexerting your body, doing things that are overly stressful on your body because this can be interpreted by your nervous system as danger.
That’s not to say that you cannot push yourself, but it’s about not going beyond your limits and potentially harming yourself or over training. Another way that you may have heard before to regulate your nervous system is through breath work. This can look like. Just taking slow, deep breaths all the way into your belly.
An important part of this can be lengthening the exhale when you lengthen the exhale and just make it longer than your inhale. So a simple way to do this can be breathing in for four counts, breathing out for six that is going to communicate to your body that you’re in a state of calm. It’s going to activate what’s known as your parasympathetic nervous system, which is your body’s relaxation response.
So even just setting a timer for five minutes, placing your hand on your belly, being sure that you’re breathing in all the way into your belly, feeling it expand and exhaling longer than the inhale. Another way to regulate your nervous system through your body is through what’s called a body scan or progressive muscle relaxation.
This is one of my favorites and something that I. Often do in moments where I find my body feeling tense or maybe if I’m trying to relax, if I’m finding that I’m feeling tense or wired before bed at night. This is essentially just going through your body section by section, noticing any areas of tension.
Not that you’re trying to drastically change it, but just seeing if you can release any of that tension if possible. So starting with the head and going down to your feet little by little, so you can even try it now and gently scan through your body and notice. Okay. Is there any tension in my face behind the eyes that’s that’s a place, those tiny muscles that tend to hold onto tension or in your jaw, neck, shoulders, upper back as you’re going through, noticing the tension and then releasing.
It doesn’t have to be through force. It’s more just. Tuning into that, and this can be a skill. The more you practice it, then the more automatic, the easier it becomes over time. So going all the way down through your lower back, stomach, hips, releasing any tension there, and the thighs, knees, lower legs, ankles, feet.
And toes. This is just a very quick one. There’s so many resources for this. You can search progressive muscle relaxation, guided meditation, body scan, and this can be a helpful way to communicate to your body and your nervous system that it’s okay to let go and to get back to a state of calm. And safety.
These are all just some examples of using your body to regulate your nervous system at the beginning of your day. You can even do this at the end of your day. My second tip is to create an environment that supports your nervous system. So your nervous system, your body, your senses, is constantly taking in information from your environment.
It’s scanning for cues of safety or stress or danger. And while you may not have full control over your surroundings, especially if you’re at work, if you have kids running around or you’re sharing a space with others, small sensory shifts can still send powerful signals of calm to your body. So here are some things you can try.
You can focus on sound, maybe using noise canceling headphones. Calming playlists or music that really resonates with you personally. For example, this morning I was driving around running errands and I put on an album I haven’t listened to in so long is Radiohead Kid A and for me I noticed, wow, this, this music is, is really.
Helping to put me in a state where I’m feeling calm, where I’m feeling joyful, you know, whatever it is that does that for you. A lot of times it’s also for me, instrumental music, especially if I am working or doing something else. So it’s not gonna be a distraction. It’s not gonna be a stressor or something else for my brain to focus on, but it’s something to.
Help to calm my nervous system and my body. This can also look like just taking small sound breaks throughout the day and things like listening to nature sounds can be very calming for the nervous system, so sounds of the ocean birds chirping. Anything that helps to bring you a sense of presence, safety, and gets you into that state of.
Releasing stress intention. Another way to do this is through scent. You can keep maybe a small essential oil roller or other scent near your desk or in your bag. Scents like lavender or peppermint can really help to ground you and calm your nervous system when it comes to sight. Maybe decluttering your space and keeping things clear, because anything that we take in that’s cluttered can create internal stress.
It feels like we’re adding things to our to-do list, even if it’s unconsciously, or maybe it’s just taking a break to close your eyes for a few seconds at your desk. For 10 to 15 seconds just to reset and reground yourself. Or you can do this through touch things like a cozy sweater I have behind me this fluffy pillow.
If you’re watching on YouTube, a soft scarf or a warm mug. With your tea or coffee, it can help to give your body a sense of comfort and safety and groundedness. So it’s not about creating the perfect environment, but it’s about finding tiny, achievable ways to remind your nervous system that you’re safe right now.
And that, and doing that through the senses and through your external environment can be an excellent way to connect with that. My third tip is to mind your thoughts. Are your thoughts fueling more anxiety, stress, and unease? If you’re constantly spinning and ruminating on worrisome thoughts such as, what if this goes wrong?
What if I make this one decision today and then I’m miserable in five years now because of it? We cannot stop our thoughts, but we can recognize and replace them. You can use tools such as journaling your thoughts out, or meditation to notice these thoughts and ask yourself, can I shift from what if to what is, I got this perspective from Corey Mascara, who is an international speaker and teacher on the topics of presence and wellbeing, particularly mindfulness.
When we shift from what if, all of the worries and anxieties to what is, this is what you know for sure what is here right now, and this gives you more of a sense of control and groundedness in the present rather than feeling scattered and pulled in a million different directions, thinking about all the possibilities.
The goal is to feed your brain with thoughts that teach your nervous system a sense of safety thoughts such as I am safe right now. I can handle this. I approach my days with calm, ease, and a sense of groundedness. Choose whatever resonates with you and keep these reminders top of mind. Studies show that believing that stress is harmful is associated with more negative health and mental health outcomes.
Whereas believing stress can be enhancing can help us to grow stronger is linked with better adaptive responses and outcomes. Suggesting that mindset itself and our thoughts and perception can play a meaningful role in how stress affects. The body and mind. So basically our relationship with stress, how we interpret it, can shape how our nervous system responds when we believe that stress can actually help us to grow stronger.
The brain is more likely to interpret stress as a challenge to be surpassed, not a danger. And this creates a different nervous system pattern. So maybe the fight or flight response still activates. But it’s paired with more adaptive coping, like problem solving, deeper breathing, or emotion regulation.
And the parasympathetic system, which is the relaxation response, can engage more easily after the stressor passes. Therefore, the body doesn’t stay stuck in this state of fight or flight, and it’s better able to adapt and be more resilient. In other words, your beliefs shape your perception. And your perception shapes your nervous system’s response.
And over time, this influences how flexible, resilient, and balanced your nervous system becomes. I invite you to ask yourself, what does my nervous system need more of right now? You don’t have to do it perfectly or overhaul your entire life. You just have to notice when your nervous system is activated and what that feels like, and then choose to do something different.
One small moment at a time. If this episode resonated with you and you’re, and you’re craving more nervous system support, I’ve created a resource just for you. Inside the calm and ambitious vault, you’ll find dozens of bite-sized five minute pocket practices designed to help you feel more calm, balanced, and confident from approaches like butterfly tapping to breath work to mindset resets, they’re perfect for high achievers who don’t want another big task on their plate, but they do want to feel better and support their nervous system.
You can explore them all by going to calmlycoping.com/vault. And while you wait for next week’s episode, I have other episodes about calming your mind, improving work-life balance, and feeling more confident from within. You can check out these episodes here. Thank you so much for tuning in today, and until next time, be calm.