7 Signs of High-Functioning Depression

On the outside, you’ve got it all together—thriving in your career, keeping up with responsibilities, and maybe even excelling in ways that others admire. But on the inside, it’s a different story. If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in a cycle of sadness, exhaustion, or self-criticism while keeping up appearances, you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m breaking down the signs of high-functioning depression—what it looks like, how it differs from other forms of depression, and what you can do to start feeling better. If this resonates with you, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • What high-functioning depression is and how it differs from typical depression or high-functioning anxiety.
  • The 7 key signs of high-functioning depression and how to recognize them in yourself or others.
  • Actionable steps you can take to start feeling better, including strategies for addressing your thoughts, behaviors, and when to seek professional support.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out for immediate support:

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): Dial 988 or visit 988lifeline.org
  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (free support 24/7 in the U.S.)
  • International Resources: Visit befrienders.org to find help in your country.

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DISCLAIMER: All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.

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TRANSCRIPT:

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On the outside, you’ve got it all together, thriving in your career, keeping up with responsibilities, and maybe even excelling in ways that others admire. But on the inside, it’s a different story. If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in a cycle of sadness, exhaustion, or self criticism while keeping up appearances, then you’re not alone.

In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the signs of high functioning depression, what it looks like, how it differs from other forms of depression, and what you can do to start feeling better. If this resonates with you, stick around. This episode is for you. Welcome to Calmly Coping, the podcast for high achievers who want to feel calm, balanced, and confident from within.

I’m Tati, a therapist and coach, and I’m here to help you stop overthinking, stop overworking, and crush self doubt. Every other week, I share actionable tips and strategies you can implement right away to create more balance and ease in your life. Thanks so much for tuning in. Let’s get started. High functioning depression often goes unnoticed because individuals appear to be doing well and even thriving externally.

They may also downplay their struggles and avoid sharing the symptoms that they’re experiencing. And this is often because they feel like fear, stigma, or judgment from others, and this keeps them from seeking out help, which keeps them stuck in this cycle. Now I’m going to share seven signs of high functioning depression.

One I already touched on, and that is the outward success contrasted with an inner struggle. So you might appear to be doing well on the outside, maybe you’re doing well at work, school, or with your responsibilities, but you’re struggling on the inside. Maybe you feel empty or disconnected internally.

Your success might even be driven by a desire to prove your worth. An example is, let’s say, a marketing executive who is consistently hitting their goals, impressing their boss and team. They’re known as the go to person, always reliable and composed, but on the drive home they often cry, feeling disconnected from their achievements and wondering why they’re so unhappy despite their success.

The next sign is exhaustion behind the facade. While appearing energized and motivated externally, you might feel mentally and physically drained. It might feel really challenging to get the drive or motivation to do the things that you know you need to do. So even though you’re getting things done, it requires a lot of effort on your end and you often feel tired.

This can also look like difficulty with sleeping. Or, sleeping excessively, oftentimes the extremes. So an example is maybe a teacher stays late to help their students, designs creative lesson plans, and maintains a positive demeanor in the classroom. But behind the scenes, they might struggle to get out of bed every morning, feel drained even after a full night of sleep, and spend their weekends sleeping excessively to recover from the week.

The next sign is persistent inner sadness. or hopelessness. So this is feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or dissatisfaction that others might not see. Maybe you feel like you’re stuck or you’re just going through the motions and going through life on autopilot, but things don’t hold much meaning. Maybe you feel hopeless about the future or about ever feeling better or things ever changing or improving.

Or maybe you feel an inner sadness that follows you despite what you achieve or how well things are going in your life. The next sign is connected to this and it can be difficulty experiencing joy. So maybe you’re doing all the things, attending social events, or engaging in hobbies, or celebrating your achievements.

but you don’t really feel true happiness or connection. Again, it’s that feeling of going through the motions, but you might struggle with actually feeling fulfilled or joy from the things that you’re doing. Especially if you experienced this joy and fulfillment in the past, and it’s a change from how you felt before.

So maybe you look like you’re enjoying yourself on the outside, you’re smiling and laughing, but on the inside, it doesn’t really connect. You don’t really feel that happiness or joy. And it’s hard for you to understand why the next sign is using coping mechanisms to maintain this mask. So oftentimes this can look like unhealthy coping mechanisms like Especially if you’re feeling exhausted.

Maybe you’re drinking excessive amounts of caffeine. Maybe you’re drinking alcohol to help you feel better or wind down. Maybe you’re binge watching your favorite TV shows endlessly, scrolling through your phone endlessly, emotional eating to feel some level of pleasure or other compulsive habits to just keep going and get you through the day.

So an example could be maybe a tech worker who gets through their long days with back to back cups of coffee and scrolling through their phone during breaks. After work, they binge watch Netflix for hours to avoid thinking about how unfulfilled they actually feel. And the next day, they rinse and repeat, putting on a productive face for their co workers.

Putting on this mask and covering it with these unhealthy coping mechanisms can feel okay in the moment, in the short term, But in the long term, it can be really exhausting and draining, and ultimately be you avoiding how you’re feeling. The next sign is rumination on past mistakes or failures. You might be constantly replaying past decisions that you made, perceived failures, Or moments where you felt like you weren’t good enough, or things didn’t go the way you wanted them to.

There’s a lot of inner criticism that can often dominate your dialogue, and you’re often really hard on yourself, and putting yourself down constantly. Your inner narrative can be fueled by low self esteem, and by feeling really bad about yourself, and feeling like you may never feel happy. And this can lead to you excessively focusing on what’s wrong rather than really appreciating any achievements that you have had or really being present for any joyful moments in your life.

And the next sign is a lack of motivation coupled with guilt. So you might struggle to start tasks, even ones that you know are important. And this is more than just procrastination. This is really feeling in a place where you couldn’t even try. There’s this sense of a lack of desire to do anything. And on top of that, you might even feel guilty for not being more productive.

So not only are you struggling to get started with tasks, but then you’re being really hard on yourself and feeling bad because of that. And this could happen because your underlying lack of desire and fulfillment can make it hard to get started. And your perfectionism and high standards might lead to that guilt for falling short.

You might feel paralyzed when you want to get things done and then be hard on yourself because of the way that you’re feeling. I often talk about high functioning anxiety on this podcast. I do want to quickly clarify the difference between high functioning depression and high functioning anxiety. Now, they’re both rooted in the idea that it is a person who is appearing to do well on the outside and the symptoms they’re experiencing aren’t significantly impacting their day to day functioning, their ability to take care of themselves and their responsibilities.

However, this doesn’t mean that you’re not struggling on the inside, but the difference is what is driving the struggles that you’re experiencing. With high functioning depression, it’s rooted in a persistent low mood and feeling a sense of emptiness and a lack of fulfillment, and it’s oftentimes a past focused.

Now, this is a generalization, but when we’re looking at depression, it’s often focused on the past, being hard on yourself for things that you haven’t accomplished or done. And when we’re looking at anxiety, it’s often future focused, catastrophizing what could go wrong, thinking of the what ifs, anticipating things in the future.

And the difference between what drives high functioning anxiety is that it’s driven by fear and worry. And Maybe even some nervous energy that pushes the person into taking action, but prevents them from truly relaxing. So, to clarify that difference, high functioning depression is driven by sadness and emptiness, and it feels really hard to push yourself and keep going, but you end up doing it anyway, because of your high expectations and guilt.

And with high functioning anxiety, you’re fearful and worried about failing, or negative things. consequences that could happen or judgment from others. And this is pushing you and propelling you forward into doing more and taking on more. Now, how does high functioning depression differ from just typical depression?

And when I say typical depression, that is depression that is diagnosable, or maybe just depression where you don’t necessarily have to be doing well or thriving on the outside. And that is really the difference. It’s where the term high functioning is not a clinical diagnosis, however it is just a term to describe people who are doing well on the outside and they have the appearance of success or accomplishing things or getting things done, but that’s contrasted with how they’re feeling on the inside.

So let’s say you resonate with these signs that I shared with you. What can you do about it? So I want to share a two pronged approach to managing and reducing high functioning depression. The first is cognitive, and this is in how you think. Because a lot of this is rooted in self criticism, thinking really negatively about yourself and about the world, that is going to affect how you feel.

And so if we can address those negative thoughts that are constantly coming up and change them, then that can have a positive influence on how you feel. So, first is to focus on identifying and challenging any of those negative thought patterns. What I just mentioned, so addressing self criticism and blame is an excellent place to start because that is often what happens a lot when you’re experiencing depression.

You’re being hard on yourself and you’re blaming yourself for the way that you’re feeling, for not feeling better, for not doing more. So notice your harsh inner dialogue and replace this with more self compassion. This is not something that is an overnight change where you can just flip a switch, but this is something that will take time and consistency, and the more and more you practice it, the more you can shift those ways of thinking.

And it’s also not about shaming yourself for being hard on yourself. or for having judgmental thoughts, because that’s just adding more judgment on top of what you’re already experiencing. So it’s about acknowledging that these are the types of thoughts that I’m having, and how can I think about things differently?

Maybe even asking yourself, would I say this to a friend? Another way to change how you think is to reframe hopelessness. So shifting from thinking that things will never get better, I’m always going to feel this way, to what small steps can I take to improve how I feel today? Anytime that you experience a moment where things didn’t go how you wanted them to, or you’re feeling really down, and that’s then affecting the way that you feel about yourself, or the world around you, how can you reframe this to look at things differently to rather than seeing this expansive, hopeless future, seeing what do I have control over right now that I can do to help myself feel a little better and another way to change the way that you think about yourself.

And ultimately change how you feel is cultivating meaning and purpose. Now I talked a lot about feeling a sense of hopelessness and also lacking a sense of joy and fulfillment from what you’re doing. And the opposite of that is connecting with what is meaningful to you, connecting with a sense of purpose.

And oftentimes this is something that we become disconnected from when you’re experiencing high functioning depression. So really reflect on what brings you fulfillment in life. Okay. whether it’s relationships, creative pursuits, your career, or any sort of personal values that you have, and see if you can journal on these things, reflect on them.

Why is this important to me? And how can I connect with this meaning? And how can I connect with this more? And rather than just going through the motions of things, really coming back to that why. Why is it that these relationships are important to me? Why is it that I really enjoy these creative pursuits?

Even if it’s not this grandiose, you’re changing the world, how are you creating meaning and impact in the world? in the lives of the people that you’re closest to. Even if it’s in any sort of living creature, if you’re somebody who loves animals or if you’re somebody who just enjoys connecting with nature, how can you find little moments of meaning and impact in your life and in your day?

Even if you’re working a job that you really don’t like, Are there relationships that you enjoy in your workplace? Is there an aspect of your work that you really enjoy and that brings you a sense of fulfillment? Finding those little pockets of things throughout your day that you can try and connect to and find meaning from can help you to then build upon that feeling and so that it’s not this feeling of hopelessness and meaningless that is then kind of seeping into your entire life.

So here are some specific journal prompts that you can reflect on if you find journaling helpful. What is it that makes me feel alive? Or when is the last time I felt really happy? Or when’s the last time I felt proud of myself? What am I grateful for? The second prong of this two prong approach is behavioral.

Because with depression and high functioning depression, even though you’re going through the motions and getting things done, there can be a strong lack of motivation and lack of energy to do the things that help you to feel good. And because of that, You can then feel even more stuck because maybe you’re just doing your responsibilities and checking those things off of a list, but you’re not really connecting with things that you personally enjoy or doing those things from a place of desire.

So I like to think of the concept from physics that an object in motion stays in motion and an object at rest stays at rest. So if you are feeling stuck, stuck and unmotivated, and maybe you’re going to work and getting all the things done and taking care of your family, but you’re not taking care of yourself, then it’s going to feel harder to take care of yourself because you’re in this place of basically not moving, not taking those steps.

So start struggling. small. Maybe that looks like taking time for exercise and starting with a quick 15 minute exercise a few times a week and then building from there. Starting to focus on small ways that you can build momentum towards doing things to take care of yourself. The next behavioral step you can take is to go outside of your comfort zone.

So that means doing things you might not initially feel like doing and asking yourself rather than what do I feel like doing right now, how will I feel after doing this? This connects to those unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you are binge watching TV, that’s going to feel great in the moment, but after you’ve been doing it for hours or an entire day or, you know, days or a week or whatever, however long it is.

How does that make you feel afterwards? Maybe it helps you to feel recharged doing that once in a while. And that’s great, but maybe you feel even worse afterwards, or maybe it has a compounding effect. So thinking of this is joyful in the moment, and this is pleasurable in the moment, but is there something else that I can do that will give me a different feeling that will shift the way that I’m feeling?

And so maybe that is. going out and socializing when maybe you might have normally stayed on your own and withdrawn, and it might feel like it requires a lot of energy to get out and go and make plans and do the thing, but you consistently realize that time spent with friends actually helps to energize you.

It helps you to feel better. So reflecting on that question of, all right, can I take a little step outside of my comfort zone and do something that might feel a little difficult in the

My next behavioral tip is to practice foundational self care. This looks like the basics. So prioritizing hygiene. If you work from home, let’s say, and you tend to just roll out of bed and get started working and work in your pajamas, nothing wrong with that. But sometimes it can also be that. The way that we take care of ourselves affects how we feel.

So maybe you want to wake up a little earlier and take a shower before you get to work and wear clothes that are still comfortable, but that help you to feel more like you’re in work mode rather than relaxation mode. This is just one small example, but hygiene is a place to start getting enough sleep and getting restful and quality sleep is another place to start.

And I have other episodes on how to do that. getting regular nutrition, so not skipping breakfast or meals and hydrating yourself throughout the day. You can utilize tools to help you to stay consistent. One tool that I’ve really been enjoying recently is the Clever Fox self care journal. And in this journal, it helps you to create a plan for self care.

It gives you ideas for ways that you can practice self care and helps to keep you accountable and practice gratitude daily, which is positively associated with an improvement in your mood, as well as reflecting on how you’re feeling at the end of the day so you can recognize how certain things affect how you’re feeling and then learn from that and use that moving forward.

It also helps you to assess and reflect on your activity levels, your goals for yourself and tracking healthy habits. You can learn more about this Clever Fox self care journal at the link in the description. And if you do choose to purchase one, it helps to support this channel. And another behavioral tip is getting sunlight and fresh air.

Nowadays, so many of us are stuck inside and not getting time outside and with nature. I am personally guilty of this, working from home. It can be hard sometimes to get outside, especially in the winter months when it’s colder. But sunlight gives us vitamin D and that helps to improve our mood, that helps to regulate our sleep and wake cycles so that you can get better sleep.

So even if it’s just Getting outside for 10 to 15 minutes for a quick walk or drinking your morning coffee on your porch or balcony or wherever it is that can help you to improve your mood and improve your self care. Sometimes taking these steps isn’t enough. Or sometimes it’s too hard to do these things on your own.

And that is perfectly okay. That doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. We all need help from time to time. I have gone to therapy myself as a therapist. And I used to have this belief that, well, I shouldn’t have to go to therapy because that means that I’m doing something wrong or that means that I’m a failure.

When in reality, that is something that is essential and necessary, it can be a great step to ask for help and to seek out support when you need it. That is an act of caring for yourself. So this can look like going to and seeking out a mental health professional in your area to get support with improving your way of thinking, changing and getting into practicing more healthy habits and reducing symptoms of depression.

Medication can also be a helpful resource. I highly recommend going to a psychiatrist rather than your general physician when it comes to getting medication for any sort of mental health struggle because they have specialized knowledge to help you to assess how different types of medications might affect you, to check in with you to see how it’s helping or not helping, changing dosages, things like that.

So seeking out a local psychiatrist or APN, which is a psychiatric nurse, can be helpful if you are interested in that route. And if you’re experiencing any sort of crisis, if you are having thoughts about harming yourself, Which can sometimes happen with depression, then there are crisis resources available.

I will link those in the description. If you are located in the U. S., then the crisis hotline is 988. If you’re watching on YouTube or if you’re listening on Spotify, leave a comment below letting me know which sign resonates most with you. Maybe it’s more than one, maybe it’s all of them. And this is a way that we can help to support each other in the comments.

And know that you are not alone in how you’re feeling. If you’re looking for some accountability to help you to practice more self care, I again suggest checking out the Clever Fox self care journal. And if you’re looking for for more support and diving deeper into more resources, support and accountability to help you prioritize yourself without sacrificing your goals.

Then you can check out the common ambitious community at the link at the description or by going to calm and ambitious. com while you wait for the next episode. I have other episodes about calming your mind, improving work life balance and feeling more confident from within. Thank you so much for tuning in today and until next time, be calm.

Thanks so much for listening. If you like what you heard, please share this episode with a friend and please subscribe and leave me a review on iTunes. Also, remember to check me out online at CalmlyCoping. com and connect with me on Instagram at TatianaGLPC. All content here is for informational purposes only.

This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues. Till next time, I’m Tati, and this has been Calmly Coping.

Until next time…

Be Calm,

Tati

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TatianaGarcia-horizontal

Hey, I'm Tati!

I believe that everybody deserves to live a calm, fulfilling life. My hope is to inspire high achievers to stop fear from running their lives and start putting their needs first.
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