The Cycle of High-Functioning Anxiety (and How to Finally Break It)

Do you ever feel like no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough? That constant cycle of overthinking and overdoing has a name. And today I’m going to break down the cycle of high functioning anxiety, why it keeps you stuck, and most importantly, how you can start breaking free from it.

Welcome to Calmly Coping. My name is Tati Garcia. I’m a licensed therapist and speaker here to help high achievers stop overthinking and finally feel calm and confident from within. If that resonates, then hit subscribe. Let’s dive into the episode Last week I talked about the hidden costs of high functioning anxiety.

How it shows up in your sleep, your health, your relationships, and your ability to actually enjoy life. And if you didn’t catch that episode, then be sure to click here somewhere or click on the link in the description this week. I wanna help you understand why those costs keep piling up. Because of the cycle of high functioning anxiety, high functioning anxiety can feel like you’re running on a hamster wheel.

You’re constantly moving, constantly doing, constantly chasing, but never really feeling calm. Satisfied or at peace. There can be this sense of being on edge. And the reason is because most of us are stuck in a cycle that feels automatic. It’s this loop that keeps spinning and until you can see the cycle for what it is, you’ll just keep getting pulled along with it.

So let me walk you through this cycle of high functioning anxiety. Stage one is the fear and anxiety. It starts with fear. The fear of failure of letting others down of not being enough. That fear causes us to want to prepare for the worst and anticipate sparking anxiety, which feels uncomfortable and urgent.

So an example is maybe you get an email for your boss asking for an update, and immediately your mind jumps to what if they think I’m not keeping up, or what if I don’t have the right answer? This fear and worry kind of spins and creates. What happens in stage two, which is overdoing and avoidance. So to calm this fear, you jump into overthinking, over preparing, overworking, the overs that I mentioned in last week’s episode.

On the surface, it looks like productivity. But really it’s a way to avoid the discomfort of slowing down or risking failure. So an example is you stay up late rewriting the report you have due three times, or you keep tinkering with your slides instead of just sending them. This is where those overs that I mentioned come in.

Overthinking over planning, overanalyzing and overdoing. Then we get to stage three negative thoughts and self-criticism. Even after you do all the things your mind tells you it’s not enough, your inner critic speaks up, you should have done more. What if it still isn’t good enough? What if they’re disappointed?

What if I get fired? What if I fail? Et cetera, et cetera. And that self-criticism can feel brutal. You might think, I’m never gonna get this right. Everyone else seems to have it together. Why can’t I? What’s wrong with me? I’m such a failure. Stage four is the repeat. So of course, those negative thoughts fuel even more fear and anxiety.

Which pulls you right back into the start of the cycle and around and around it goes to create essentially this downward spiral that we speak about a lot in cognitive behavioral therapy, and this is why it can feel like you are never done. Like you’re always pushing but never arriving. Like rest and peace are always just slightly out of reach.

And I wanna clarify this cycle is not always perfectly linear because that’s not how life works. Sometimes you might bounce between stages or experience one part more than another, or it’s gonna show up differently for different people. But the important part is recognizing the structure and how these pieces feed into each other and keep this loop.

Going. So maybe you’re not necessarily starting with fear and anxiety, but you’re noticing yourself in these behaviors and then stepping back and seeing what’s going on under the, under the surface. If you’re nodding along, then you’re not alone. And this is the exact cycle I’ve seen play out with so many of my clients and one that I’ve experienced personally myself.

And this is something that your brain has practiced. For years, maybe even decades. And for high achievers, it’s often reinforced by praise and by the external validation that comes from being the dependable one, the overachiever, and the person who always gets it done. And maybe this is also reinforced in your values, maybe because it’s so important to you to be dependable, to have high.

Standards to be the person that people can rely on or do work in a detail oriented way. Those traits and those values may have made it so that you’re more likely to end up in this place. And I wanna emphasize, these are not bad traits to have. They’re actually. Great strengths and what we want to work towards is being able to build upon those strengths and tap into those strengths, but without functioning from a place of fear and anxiety and sacrificing yourself and your own needs.

Which is what often happens through this cycle of high functioning anxiety because some of those overs can look like overworking, and this inherently results in neglecting your own needs. But just because this is familiar. It doesn’t mean that it is sustainable over time. This cycle can wear you down.

It keeps your nervous system in a state of constant alert leading to exhaustion, tension, headaches, digestive issues, difficulty sleeping, a sense of constant irritability, and it can also create distance in your relationships because you’re there physically, but your mind is always racing. Already onto the next task or worry.

So if you’ve ever felt drained, disconnected, or like you’re just waiting for that permission to finally rest, it’s not your fault. This is the cycle of high functioning anxiety at work. However, that doesn’t mean that you are just beholden to it and you cannot make changes. That’s what I’m here for.

That’s what we’re wanting to work towards. And ultimately, once you can see the cycle at work, you can start to interrupt it. Like I mentioned in last week’s episode, awareness is that first step to recognizing the pattern that’s been running in the background. And awareness doesn’t mean you immediately break the cycle, but it does mean that you can begin to notice.

Oh. I’m in stage two right now. I’m overdoing to calm my anxiety. That moment of recognition is powerful and it’s the opening for change. So it might feel like we’re not doing much, but we are doing so much. When we can start to recognize these patterns you are bringing what has been unconscious to conscious awareness.

And that is a powerful step. There is a famous quote by psychologist Carl Young, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate. And this suggests that. When we’re not aware of the patterns that drive us, then we just feel like this is what it is, not knowing that there can be another way that we can make changes and we have more power than we often believe.

And additionally, we might even attribute what’s occurring internally to external things without recognizing that it’s these internal patterns that are often keeping us stuck in these loops, and specifically in this case, in this cycle of high functioning anxiety. So here’s your assignment for this week, and again, if assignment makes you tense up.

With stress and pressure going back to those old days of school, then this is your focus of self-care for the week. I want you to start mapping out your own high functioning anxiety cycle. So first, catch the moment when fear or anxiety shows up, and ask yourself what triggered it, and maybe catching yourself looks like noticing the behavior first.

So notice the behavior or urge that you’re engaging in. Are you overthinking, overworking over preparing? And maybe that looks like then backtracking into, once you’ve noticed I’m overworking again, how am I feeling? Is there some sort of fear or anxiety under the surface here? And then that’s when you tune into what your inner critic says after maybe you’re overworking and you wanna stop, but you’re like.

Oh, you’re such a failure. There’s so many other people who work late. What’s wrong with you that you can’t do this? You’re dropping the ball. Your boss is gonna think that you’re a terrible person or whatever it is that that critic says to you when you try to stop the over behavior that you’re doing or that’s fueling you, continuing to engage in it, or both.

And here’s the extra step this week. In addition to the awareness and acknowledgement before you automatically move into the overdoing practice, hitting pause, it doesn’t have to be long, or even if you catch yourself in the overdoing, take a moment to hit the pause button. And this could look like just taking three deep breaths, doing a two minute stretch, getting up and moving around.

Or even just writing the fear down what’s in your mind instead of acting on them immediately. These moments of tiny interruption might feel small, but they are powerful and they are the first step to loosening the cycles grip. And the more and more you can practice these moments, the more this builds up to create long-term change, because that is the most effective and sustainable change.

Not the grandiose gestures or the huge shifts that you’re making from one day to the next, but the small moments where you can catch yourself, change your behavior, and think differently. And I want you to remember that if you’re stuck in this cycle, you’re not stuck in it forever. And there are tools that can help you break free.

That’s exactly why I created the Calm and Ambitious Vault. It’s an on-demand toolkit designed for high achievers like you who want to reduce anxiety. Quite overthinking. And finally, step off the hamster wheel. The vault is opening soon, but you can join the wait list today for exclusive early access and discounts.

You’ll find the link in the show notes or by going to calmlycoping.com/vault. And if you were here for the first episode, remember this is part two of this three part high functioning anxiety series. In next week’s episode, part three, I’m going to share the three biggest lessons I’ve learned from helping hundreds of high achieving professionals manage their anxiety lessons that can help you start shifting out of the cycle we talked about today.

And I’ll also give you a peek at a brand new way you can put these lessons into practice in your own life. Remember that once you see the loop. You can start to interrupt it, and that is where the power lies. While you wait for next week’s episode, I have other episodes about calming your mind, improving work-life balance, and feeling more confident from within.

So be sure to check out these episodes here. Thank you so much for tuning in today, and until next time, be calm.