What ADHD Really Looks Like in High-Achievers with Rebecca Tolbert, LICSW

Tati: If you’ve ever felt like you should have it all together, but inside you’re exhausted, scattered, or secretly struggling to keep up, then this episode is for you. I’m joined by Rebecca Tolbert, a clinical therapist

and a DH coach who brings wisdom and lived experience, so the conversation around A DHD and high achieving professionals.

We explore how A DHD can show up in subtle unexpected ways. Why it’s often overlooked in women and how learning to work with your brain rather than against it can change everything. Let’s get into it.

Hey, so I am excited to be here with Rebecca Tolbert to talk more about A DHD and specifically how it shows up in high achievers and ways that we can manage that and also recognize it. So thank you so much for being here, Rebecca.

Yeah, I’m so glad to be here. I love talking about this stuff.

Tati: Excellent.

Yeah. So can you talk more about. When you started to specialize in A DHD, like what got you into this route?

Rebecca: When I started to specialize in A DHD, I love that question because it’s kind of like when I was in second grade is when I started to specialize in A DHD. Unlike most women, I was diagnosed with A DHD when I was in second grade, and.

My mom started getting me books about a DHD then, and so it’s been something that I’ve been really interested in pretty much my whole life is like, okay, how does this show up? What does this mean about my brain versus other people’s brains? At my science projects, like in middle school, we’re about like focus and like what color paper helps people focus better.

Um, so it’s something that I’ve always been super interested in, but at the same time. I didn’t actually integrate that into my practice so much until I had done a lot of my own work around like accepting who I am and accepting my brain and the way that it shows up. Um, so my practice that is specifically focused on A DHD, uh, is something that I’ve been doing for about the past five years, even though I’ve been in the like clinical social work world for much longer than that.

Tati: Okay. Yeah. Interesting. And I know that A DHD can show up differently for different people and it’s something that I think nowadays, especially in addition to mental health in general, but I think especially A DHD, it’s something that people are starting to become more aware of. Uh, people are talking about more.

At the same time, not everybody may understand how it shows up or what it looks like, so. What are the signs that somebody might have a DHD?

Rebecca: So it is different for everybody, uh, but the internal symptoms are generally a lot more similar than they are different. So we see, uh, a dysregulation of your executive functioning system.

So that is things like organization focus, uh. Emotional regulation and task initiation, motivation, things like that. So when you have a DHD, you’re either like all in or you’re not in it all. And for organizing that can look like, oh, I was gonna go. I don’t know, to the gym today. And instead, I like reorganized one cabinet in my bathroom.

Not the whole bathroom. Not something that was like actually gonna benefit my life, but like I got distracted and I like hyperfocused on this one cabinet. Um, for task initiation, it can be like, I just can’t get myself to get started. Um, for. Movement and like motion. It can be like, okay, you’re somebody who like can never sit still or you’re someone whose brain is never still.

And so typically like the typical hyperactive presentation is somebody who is difficulty sitting still. And that’s like what we think of. When we think of a DHD, ’cause like the little boy in second grade who’s like climbing trees and making dinosaur noises and like interrupting everybody, right? Like that is how A DHD shows up.

But sometimes it shows up like me, which is like the little girl in second grade who does all of her work, but her desk is so unorganized that she never turns anything in. It’s like a paper mache, like packed in there and she’s like doodling comic strips instead of listening to the teacher. So she’s not interrupting.

But the dysregulation of focus and tension and organization is making it so that she’s not like the best student in the class. Even if she had the potential to be.

Tati: Yeah. And I, I think that’s important what you’re explaining the difference, especially between boys and girls and how a DHD can show up.

’cause I think it’s often underdiagnosed in, in girls and like you were saying, I think you tend to be the exception being diagnosed at a young age, whereas many girls and women may not be diagnosed until they’re older. Uh, can you speak more to that?

Rebecca: Yeah. And I think that. It’s girls are diagnosed less often and folks who, regardless of gender, who have a distracted presentation are also less likely to get diagnosed.

So I think it’s both a gendered thing and also just a, your behaviors aren’t bothering anybody else. They’re only harming you. So that little boy who is like. Wild. The teacher’s like, I cannot teach this classroom. We have to do something about him. Whereas she’s over here doing whatever, the teacher’s not like, oh my gosh, I can’t teach this classroom.

It’s just like, what is she doing? Okay, back to teaching the classroom. Um, so yeah, there’s that. Uh, but yeah, I think there’s a lot of reason that girls don’t get diagnosed. Um, I think that we are more likely to internalize things just in general. And so it’s like I need to be like the responsible one. I need to be the one who’s taking care of other people.

I need to be X, Y, and Z. And because I have this expectation, I have to put a lot of energy to show up that way. Um, and so I might not be showing up to the external world, like I’ve got some of these deficiencies I think about in college, one of my really close friends, I was talking to him, we’ve known each other for like three years at this point, and I mentioned something about like, I’m a mess.

I’m such a disaster. My A DHD, blah, blah, blah. And he’s like, excuse me, what? And I was like, yeah, like. I am not doing well. And he’s like, that is, no, that doesn’t make any sense. And I was like, do you, excuse me? Do you not know me? And it was really, it was this really interesting moment where I was like, oh, people don’t have any idea how much I’m struggling.

Um, because I look like I’ve got things figured out and I’ve got it together. And like even people who know me better than most of the other people in my life. I don’t even know that I’m like drowning right now. Whereas I think if you had a more external presentation. Then if you were drowning, people would know.

Tati: Yeah. And, and what you’re describing sounds really similar to what I talk about a lot on this podcast with high functioning anxiety, where it’s that contrast between how somebody’s presenting on the outside, like they look like they have it all put together, but then on the inside they’re struggling.

And I think a lot of times with a DHD, there can be this conception that it. Negatively affects your performance. Like it’s more than just the internal struggle, like you’re saying, it’s gonna make it more challenging for people to, to do well or um, to be successful. So can you speak more to somebody who is doing well and people may not recognize that they’re having a DHD and what that can look like and feel like for them on the inside?

Rebecca: Yeah, for sure. I think of like some folks who are in my coaching group, when you ask that question, because they come in and they’re like, I should be able to show up like this. Like there is a way that I should be able to present myself to the world and I should be achieving blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I’m thinking of like, I work in dc. I live in Washington DC so I’m talking like. Pretty impressive government roles where people would look at them and be like, oh my gosh, you do that and that’s amazing. And you’re like talking to, you know, senators and you’re talking to vice president, president, whoever.

Right. Like really impressive titles and, and things that you could tell the world that you’re doing. Um, and on the inside being like, okay, yeah. But it took me four times as long to get this thing done than it would’ve taken one of my peers. Um, so I’m stupid and I’m lazy, or sure, maybe I look really impressive, but if they knew how I feel about myself, they would know that I’m a fraud.

Um, there’s really this like. Recurring narrative that I hear with A DHD, high achievers. They said, I’m lazy, which is wild because these are like the least lazy people that I know, but they’re working so hard. And they’re not getting the results that they expect from themselves. Um, because there is this dysregulation of their executive functioning system.

And so sometimes they can like sit down and knock out this like amazing grant proposal in like 10 hours. They don’t sleep, they don’t like eat. They just like sit down and they knock it out and it’s like, oh my gosh, this thing is going to like win our. Nonprofit, all of this money, blah, blah, blah. Like incredible thing, right?

And then for like the next two weeks, they can’t get themselves to like initiate any tasks. And so then they’re like, I, what is wrong with me? I just like, I know what I’m capable of, right? Like I’m capable of knocking out a grant proposal in 10 hours and blowing everybody’s minds with how amazing it is.

But also, I can’t get myself to even like submit. My hours so that I get paid, um, because I can’t even initiate that. So I’m stupid and I’m lazy and there’s something wrong with me. And I think that that is so common with a DHD where you see really impressive performance and a really hard time getting like boring, important, menial stuff done.

Then you really beat yourself up over the difficulty getting that like menial thing completed to the point where you forget about like how impressive you are or if you remember how impressive you are. You use that as like fire to make fun of or like to denigrate yourself.

Tati: Yeah. So I’m hearing that there’s a lot of shame and like you’re saying, being hard on yourself.

You had put it that. The boring and menial tasks tend to be difficult to initiate. So is that a trend that you notice that when somebody’s more interested in something, that there can be that motivation and drive to get things done? Yeah.

Rebecca: If you’re interested, if it’s urgent, if you have the right kind of support, then getting things done is like fun and exciting and you’re in it.

Um, my A DHD folks are. All procrastinators, right? Like it’s, here’s the deadline. We’re going to start things right before the deadline, but we’re gonna knock ’em out and they’re gonna be amazing. Um, and that has to do with like your brain chemistry. Like with a DHD, we see a deficiency in dopamine and. Some of those other neurotransmitters.

And so when there is the stress of an eminent deadline, it um, it helps activate some of your stress hormones that can mitigate the dysregulation that you have in your prefrontal cortex. And that makes it so it’s like, oh, I’m like knocking this thing out. And that’s amazing, but like, that’s not sustainable.

So it’s okay to do that every once in a while, but if you’re like, always. Feeling like, oh my God, I’m so behind. What’s wrong with me? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That’s like really difficult place to live.

Tati: Yeah. So it seems like there’s these periods of really like pushing forward and then kind of like crashing afterwards.

Rebecca: Yeah, and honestly I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. The way that I think about A DHD and I explain it to folks is that we are kind of sprinters. Right, so your brain body system is wired to like go really hard and then chill. And so if you know that that’s the way that you thrive and you can build systems to support that, you’re going to feel a lot better about yourself and you’re actually going to like accomplish the things that you want to accomplish.

But it comes with accepting like, okay, I’m a sprinter, right? Like, I am not a marathon runner, I’m a sprinter. Um, and so for me, in my own life, that looks like, okay, I’m gonna give myself short deadlines and then give myself lots of rest, and it’s not beating myself up for resting too. Which I’m sure you talk to your folks about, like, yeah.

High functioning anxiety is like, I can’t rest, like, what’s wrong with me? I should be doing things. Mm-hmm. Um, but it’s really like leaning in, going hard and then giving yourself. The space to breathe until you do it again, and like building that into your system, knowing like, okay, I’m a sprinter, so what does that look like?

Tati: Yeah. So it, it sounds like there’s a component of acceptance, like accepting this is the way that I am, rather than forcing yourself into your expectations of, well, this is what I, I should be functioning like. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What would you recommend for somebody who is resonating with what you’re stating, you know, they’re procrastinating, struggling with a lack of motivation or that, uh, drive to get things started and maybe easily distracted, hyperactive, potentially.

What is the first step for them to take?

Rebecca: I focus a lot on what I call the SEMPRE skills in my coaching work, and I check in with my therapy clients about these things as well, just kind of as a hygiene practice, if nothing else. Um, and these SEMPRE skills are sleep, eat, move, plan, relate, enjoy. So. Six things that are emre is always, um, they are always something that, you know, that you should be doing that you know is gonna help your mental health.

And they’re always like so hard to do. If you have a DHD, you have higher chances of, uh, insomnia, sleep apnea, um, and any other. Sleep disorder, right? So there’s a comorbidity, strong comorbidity between A DHD and, and sleep issues. Um, and so really focusing on sleep hygiene and finding ways to. Uh, calm yourself enough so that you can initiate sleep.

Get your brain in a state where you can actually turn it off. If you have a DHD or high functioning anxiety, it’s really hard to fall asleep, right? Because your brain is just like going, going, going. And so finding ways to, it’s not gonna stop going, going, going, but put it towards something that’s not interesting enough that you can actually fall asleep.

Um, that’s huge. Eating is really big. So your brain, your A DHD brain is going to respond more severely to spikes in blood sugar and dehydration because you’re already dealing with executive functioning issues. And so. Your water, your brain is mostly water, right? So all of your neurological processes happen in the context of water.

So if you’re not drinking enough water, your brain is not gonna function as well. And that includes like water with electrolytes, right? And so you can get that from tap water, you can get that from, you know, various electrolyte beverages or additives or whatever the case may be. And. It’s really like, it’s so tough, right?

Because if, if you have a DHD, you’re probably like waking up right as your alarm is. Like you’ve snoozed like three times. You like throw yourself out of bed and you like run into your first meeting. Either it’s virtual and you like show up or it’s like you have to commute to work. So you’re like running late and it’s super stressful and you.

Just start your day at like a 10. Um, and you probably haven’t consumed anything. And if you have, it’s like a granola bar on your way out the door. And so that’s gonna set up your system for a lot more, uh, physical stress throughout the day if you don’t start your day with fat and protein. And so I’m always encouraging folks to like.

Get pre-made breakfast burritos or like a breakfast sandwich and eat that. Like as you start your day. I got these, these little like egg bites from Trader Joe’s that I eat like pretty much every day because it’s fat and protein that is going to help your brain so much if you take meds for your A DHD.

You’re going to not have hunger cues throughout the day. Um, and if you’re working on something that you really care about, you probably will be hyper-focused, whether or not you take meds. And when you’re hyper-focused, you are less likely to eat. So then you get to the end of the day and you’ve had like.

Nothing to consume. So your brain is running on empty and then you like get home and you see like chips and you just like binge a bag of chips because of course you do. You haven’t eaten anything all day. You’ve been like hyperfocused and running late. Um, and that just does so much to your stress system.

And the more stressed you are like chronically, the more, the harder. It’s for your executive functioning system to work. And if you’ve got a DHD, you’re already like got executive functioning issues. So drinking water, eating fat and protein first thing in the morning, making sure you’re lifting weights and moving your body in ways that are fun.

Like you’re never gonna do it if it’s not fun. So find a way to have support and accountability in a fun way, um, to get some movement in sleep, eat, move, plan. Um. Having some strategies around getting things done, uh, having support around that and systems, um, and celebrating yourself when you do get things done.

Because like I was saying, you get all this stuff done and then you beat yourself up for what you didn’t do and like you did things you need to celebrate that when you celebrate yourself. It like pairs positive, um, like it’s a, it’s a positive. Words re reinforcement is that reward? Yes, but also like a positive pairing of, uh, there’s like one word that I’m looking for, but I can, it’s gone.

I don’t know. Anyway, but it usually pairs a POS association. It’s a positive association paired with, um. Initiating and completing work as opposed to a negative one where you’re like, oh, I’m such a failure. I didn’t get as much done as I wanted. If you think that about yourself, every time you complete a task, your brain’s not gonna wanna start tasks ever, right?

Tati: Mm-hmm.

Rebecca: And so giving yourself credit and like celebrating yourself is actually really huge. Thus planning relationships, um, finding people who get you. And connecting with people on like an authentic level is huge for managing everything in life. Uh, whether it’s a DHD or depression or anxiety or anything else.

Like relationships are so central to how we work as humans and they’re really important. And then the last one is enjoyment. So that’s like things that bring you joy and. What does it look like to actually lean into that? Um, I so often hear people be like, oh, I can’t do that. Like, until, whatever. Like there’s some, somebody is like keeping tabs on your behaviors and you like, can’t have fun until you, like, until you’ve accomplished something.

Yeah. And like that sucks.

Tati: Mm-hmm.

Rebecca: Because like my parents. Validly. We’re like, you can’t have friends over until your room is clean. Yeah, that makes sense. I get it. I’m an adult. I have a DHD. It’s real severe. Right. I have plenty of tips and tricks also, like my house is never gonna be together. Like it’ll be better sometimes it’ll be worse sometimes, but if it’s like, oh, you can’t have friends over until like your house is whatever, then I’ll just never have friends over.

Or if it’s like you can’t play outside until your homework’s done. Again, valid for children. But when we internalize that and take it into adulthood, I’m an entrepreneur. My homework is never done.

Tati: Yeah.

Rebecca: I mean, I can’t play outside. Like, no, but we keep those mindsets and then we never let ourselves do anything that we like.

And if we do, we like, like I should be doing

whatever. It’s

like,

no, just have some fun. And let yourself have fun.

Tati: If you’re enjoying this conversation and you want more support to feel calm, balanced, and confident in your daily life, then I invite you to join me free at my weekly ish [email protected] slash newsletter.

I share practical tips, personal insights and resources designed specifically for high achievers, managing stress and anxiety so you can feel more grounded and in control. Again, that’s calmly coping.com/newsletter. I’d love to have you join us now. Back to the episode. Yeah, so how much would you. Say, well, actually before I move on, I, I love the re acronym and, and the focus on all of those different areas.

’cause I can see how those are foundational in general and being a human, but especially when it comes to A DHD and, and how you described the effect of the executive dysfunction on those different areas of life. And, you know, I’m wondering. How much do you think maybe external pressures or societal expectations of like, you know.

You always need to be productive or hustling or whatever, you know? How, how do you think that interacts with somebody who has a DHD?

Rebecca: I think that, so you’re kind of asking like, how does hustle culture impact A DHD?

Tati: Yeah. And maybe like somebody who’s in a workplace where there are expectations that they need to continually be productive or constantly be, you know, available or.

Any of those other kinds of circumstances?

Rebecca: Yeah,

I think it’s really interesting because in some ways A DHD folks thrive in high pressure environments. Um, I see a lot of my folks are lawyers or doctors or, um. And again, I’m in, I’m in DC so like senate aids, so you’re like in the midst of like really high pressure situations.

Um, and what’s important with A DHD is learning how to regulate your nervous system and learning how to deal with the stress and the expectations of other people. Um, so there’s a big piece of accepting. What you’re capable of and how you work, um, and what works for you and what doesn’t. And at the same time, in the midst of all of that being like, okay, here’s how I show up when I’m feeling chronically stressed.

Right. Like, I’m going to be more reactive. I’m going to shut down more easily. I’m going to, um, really fall into people pleasing patterns. Maybe I just like kind of avoid or I research the wrong thing forever. Right? Like, there’s different ways that we show up. Um, I don’t know how much you talk about like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn mm-hmm.

In your work, but that’s like a really, really. Impactful part of what’s happening in an A DHD brain. And so while that is all going on, it’s also remembering like stress is not the enemy. Chronic stress not good. But if we never experienced stress, we’d be really bored. And so it’s how do we figure out how to be activated and go back to regulated and activated and regulated, and so there’s that flexibility there.

And so with A DHD, we are very easily activated. We just, at the drop of a hat,

we are gonna get activated.

Tati: And what does that, sorry to pause. What does that activation look like or feel like?

Rebecca: I think it depends on what kind of stress response you normally go into. So if you’re somebody who is more likely to have a fight response, you’re going to find yourself defensive really quickly and really easily.

Somebody’s got any critique. You’re like, oh yeah. It’s like, okay, chill. Like I just don’t like this font. Like it’s nothing personal, right? Um, so we might get more defensive, more easily, or if you are somebody who is more likely to experience like a freeze response, it’s not going to take a lot to get you to shut down and feel like you have really difficult.

Time, like even getting your brain to like turn on and focus on stuff. It’s like really becoming aware of like, oh, how, how does my body respond to stress? What are the things that stress me out the most and how do I wanna navigate that? Um, and then like practicing navigating it in the context of the thing.

Tati: So how would somebody navigate it? I know it might depend on what their. Stress response is, but what are some recommendations that you have?

Rebecca: This is like such an in-depth conversation that I, with like every person that I talk to. So it’s really hard in the theoretical, actually, I would have a whole, I would give them a whole lesson about your nervous system and your stress responses, and then we would talk through Okay.

Like what does getting activated feel like for you? Right. And what are the bodily cues associated with that? Like I think of a client who is a middle school kid, and I knew that he was activated ’cause he would do this as soon as he would get stressed out or mad. Um, and his fist, his little fist would clench up.

And for me that was like the first cue that like, oh, things are not going well. Um, and then his eyes would water and then he would start throwing trash cans. But it was like a pretty, pretty clear like delineation of like, okay, here’s what’s going on. And. I think the more aware you can get of what’s going on in your body, the more information you have.

Um, I think also an awareness of like your emotions and what’s happening. How am I actually feeling like it’s not just sad and mad, maybe it’s frustrated, maybe it’s confused, maybe it’s overwhelmed. And the more clear you can get about your language, the more information that gives you. ’cause if you’re just mad, then it’s like, well, I’m just mad.

Okay. But if you’re like, you know, I think I’m confused. Oh, okay. Like maybe I’m not mad, maybe I’m confused and frustrated and I’m taking it personally. And then you can just go find the information that you’re lacking and then you can do something there. Um. Yeah. I don’t even know if that answers your question.

Tati: Yeah, yeah. That, so it sounds like starting to become aware of how you’re feeling, like naming your emotions, understanding what your personal patterns are when it comes to being triggered or responding to stress and finding different ways to manage it. Yeah.

Rebecca: Finding different ways and. Um, viewing it as like an experiment of like, okay, what can I do as opposed to I gotta get this right.

When it’s an experiment, there’s like some freedom there. So you’re just like trying things.

Tati: Yeah.

Rebecca: When it’s like, I have to get an A plus on this thing, this is a test. Then there’s a lot of pressure and if you like mess up, then that’s a judgment on you. But if you mess up and experiment, it’s just more data.

Tati: Yeah. No, I, I think that’s, that’s really helpful. And one thing I also wanna cover. Is the connection of, you know, A DHD or between A DHD and anxiety? Because I know that you mentioned also working with individuals who experience both. So, you know, I’m just curious, is it possible that struggling with those challenges that come from A DHD can lead to anxiety?

I mean, obviously it’s gonna look different for everybody, but just in your experience, what does that look like?

Rebecca: In my experience. This is not an exaggeration. A hundred percent of all of my late diagnosed women were diagnosed with anxiety before they were diagnosed with A DHD. Uh, every single one of them, and also like 75% of them were also diagnosed with depression.

And I think that very often anxiety and depression are symptoms of A DHD. Um, I’m not saying like you don’t have anxiety, you just have a DHD like, ’cause it’s different for every person, but there is a lot of, it’s very stressful to have a brain that’s different than the majority of the population’s brain.

And to have expectations for yourself that aren’t aligned with what you’re capable of, um, or what you are capable of with the strategies that you have. And so if it’s like, I should be blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Like if I, if I know that I can knock out one grant in 10 hours in theory, right? Like I was talking about before, why am I not knocking out four grants a week?

What’s wrong with me? And so then there’s this like really, really like negative self-talk that’s really stressful. Um, and if we think about anxiety, we’re gonna, I, yeah, like a, a little nerdy, but like your amygdala is really active when you have anxiety. And so when you have a DHD, we also see. More amygdala activation, um, because of everything that’s going on in your brain.

And so the amygdala in the brains of people who have an A DHD diagnosis is larger than the brains of the general population. Um, and so you’re going to feel stress a lot when you have a DHD. And there’s also this like always on. Thing that’s similar with anxiety, right? Like your brain is kind of always going.

And with a DHD, it’s like, I, I joke with my husband, like, is he just like falls asleep at night? I don’t know. It’s so weird. Like gets in bed and then he is asleep. And I’m like, what? How do you do that? And he’ll be like, why? How do you not do that? Right? Like I would just close my eyes and I turned my brain off and I was like, my brain is like too exciting of a place to fall asleep in.

Right? Either I’m like rehashing something or I’m like plotting some like business strategy or I’m like, you know what, if I were to write a fantasy novel, I like what would the plot be and like, how would I do this? And how would it, like it’s never just nothing. It’s always something. It’s not always stress, but it’s always something.

Um, and so I think that the. Excessive energy, like mental energy associated with A DHD can really easily go into anxiety too. And so that kind of, yeah, that that movement, that mental movement that’s always happening is just so easy for our brains to like hyperfocus on something that is wrong. And then that activates all of our stress hormones.

And then we look like we have anxiety, even if we don’t.

Tati: Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So it sounds like it’s easy for somebody with a DHD to be triggered into that place of, of anxiety.

Rebecca: Mm-hmm.

Tati: Yeah. And you know, I’m, I’m curious, uh, the way you’re describing it, it sounds to me like somebody with a DHD, there can be strengths to that.

Like, I’m wondering if that can look like creativity or being able to really. Put a lot of time and energy into things that you are passionate about and you are interested in. So can you speak more to the strengths that can come with A DHD and, and how somebody can work towards harnessing those strengths while kind of mitigating the, the challenges?

Rebecca: Yeah, so I think

that we are awesome, like A DHD folks, our brands are super cool, right? So we. Have all of these challenges and it’s important to be very clear that they are challenges and A DHD is not just a superpower because I, I feel very strongly about that because it can be really tough and really isolating to have your brain work differently than the most of the people around you.

Uh, but there’s some really cool benefits. We are. Hyperconnected thinkers. So because my brain doesn’t turn off and because my brain is not capable of differentiating between important and not important stimuli, I’m taking everything in all the time and just kinda like a sponge. And because I have hyperconnected thinking and because I absorb so much, I think in very different ways, and I find very different solutions to problems than.

Like a neurotypical person would, and it’s really cool. And for me in my work as a therapist and a coach, um. That is a really big benefit to my clients because I’m gonna be absorbing all of this stuff about them and I’m gonna remember this random detail about their grandma that like, maybe somebody else would be like, that’s not important.

But you know, four months later in a conversation I’m like, oh my gosh, you mentioned this here that connects with this here and this there, and like what do you think about this? Um. And for clients, it’s like a really cool skill for me to be able to bring to the table. And I think that it benefits like my ability to engage with people too, because I am like so, so concerned with like what the thing is that’s right in front of me.

Um, Ned Hollowell, who is an A DHD, is kinda like the father of. But I don’t A DHD support. Um, he talks about like, there are two times with a DHD now and not now, which is hilarious and very true. Um, so if something’s not happening right now, I like, it doesn’t really exist for me. I don’t really have an awareness of time, which means when I’m with a person, I’m very present with them.

Um, like this is all that I care about ’cause it’s right here in front of me. And I think that in some ways it’s not great ’cause I’m like, can be relate to stuff and that’s a problem. But in some ways it’s really great because that person that I’m engaged with is like, oh, you’re like here with me. Like, you’re not worried about what’s next.

You’re like here with me. Um, yeah. So I think that all of the things that are negative about A DHD. Also have a strength associated with them.

Tati: Okay. Interesting. Yeah, and I think those are some great examples you shared. And I know that you have a resource on the EMRE acronym that you shared before. So can you let us know more about that?

Rebecca: Yeah, so I kind of like flew through all of that information and I have my, uh, like a little mini ebook that I would love to share with your audience. They would find that helpful. Uh. I can, I can give you the link for that. And it goes through each of the emre skills and just some practical ideas about making it easier for you to have more of these things in your life and be more aware of like, what is hard for you.

Um, and so yeah, I, I love that resource. I’m super happy to share it with you all. And. Also, I think a really great resource is my, uh, my emails that I send out a couple times a week because I’m writing a book about mental health. And so as I’m writing this book, I’m sending the resources out to my like email list.

And so I’m just sending them like great stuff all the time. And the emails are only like 250 words max, because never forbid it’s got a d, h, D, why would I send you a long email? Mm-hmm. Um, so it was like a really short, practical. Fun email typically with a story about something dumb that I’ve done throughout the week.

And then like, here’s a, here’s an idea, here’s a resource. Um, and that those are like folks really, I get a lot of really good feedback about those as well. So like a big resource and then like a smaller, just like continued resource too.

Tati: Awesome. Yeah, those sound excellent. And I’ll definitely leave links to those in the description, uh, along with your website and, and where people can connect with you more.

Uh, but this was an excellent conversation. I, I learned a lot about A DHD as well, and I’m sure that my listeners did as well. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

Rebecca: Yeah, I am so glad that you had me, and thank you for letting me talk about my favorite thing to talk about.